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Its that time of the year again! When we all make New Year’s resolutions and try not to renege on them before the first week of the year is over!
Anyways, so, my primary New Year’s resolution is to lose weight this year! Yep! 2014 is the year I get my sexy back. There’s no turning back. I am determined.
Here’s a little progress report on how my weight-loss journey is going thus far, eight days into the New Year:
January 1st: So, my diet was supposed to start today. But I had family and friends over for the New Year festivities. And my mom cooked a big pot of jollof rice, some fried chicken, some naija-style salad (accompanied by Heinz salad cream), samosa, spring rolls, efo with bush meat, fresh fish, snails, (along with some pounded yam), puff puff, and meatpie. My sister baked a big ol’ Red Velvet Cake and brought along some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. And of course you know it would have been very impolite not to eat the feast my mom had prepared, after she’d slaved for hours in the kitchen! So I ate a little. NO. Actually, I ate ALOT! Well it was a holiday! It would have been awkward if everyone else but me was eating. SO. Don’t judge me!
January 2nd: I was supposed to get up today and go jogging to burn all those darn calories from yesterday. But my darn alarm didn’t ring when it was supposed to. So I overslept. By the time I wake up, the afternoon sun was blazing like hell! There was no way I was gonna jog in that unbearable heat! So I stayed in bed and watched movies. Oh and ate lots of the left over red velvet cake and ice cream! But that was the only food I ate the whole day! SO. Don’t judge me.
January 3rd: I woke up with a serious stomach ache. I guess all that sugar and dairy from the previous day really didn’t digest very well. And of course, since I felt ill, I couldn’t work out. DUH. Don’t judge me.
January 4th: Today, I had severe menstrual cramps. My poor tummy 😦 Its been through hell for the past two days! So. I couldn’t work out because of the excruciating pain. Instead I ate a big bowl of pounded yam with lots of soup and meat. U know pepper eases menstrual cramps right? So I had some more pounded yam and soup for dinner. Like around 9pm. Wow my diet is still pending! Ok from TOMORROW by force! My diet will start.
January 5th: Woke up bright and early to go jogging. But it rained all morning! And the gyms in close proximity to my house are all closed. Na wa o. Later in the afternoon, a friend came over with my favorite barbeque chicken pizza from Dominoes, and cake batter ice-cream from Cold Stone. He’d battled the crazy Toyin Street traffic, just to bring me my favorite treats. C’mon. There was no way I could refuse to eat. Don’t judge me people!
January 6th: Ok. Today is Day One of the official work day of the year. Let’s make a fresh start. Its not too late to start my diet. Armed with my pre-packed lunch of fruit salad and fat-free yoghurt, I marched into the office with utmost confidence that my diet would indeed start today. But guess what? It’s my co-worker’s birthday today! And she brought her killer home-made meatpies, sausage rolls, and fried rice with chicken. If I didn’t eat, I would have looked like I didn’t share the merry birthday sentiments that my fellow co-workers expressed for the celebrant. So. I indulged in the delicious treats.
January 7th: I skipped breakfast. YES! Looks like my diet is actually starting. But then, the ofada rice-seller passed by my office with her cooler of Allen-famous ofada beef stew, plantain, rice, boiled eggs, and piping-hot rice. I hadn’t had eaten her food in awhile. So I figured I’d have some. I’d make up for eating excess carbs by having fruits for dinner. Or so I thought. Until my boyfriend surprised me at my workplace at the close of work. He’d come to take me out to dinner. We had a heavenly meal of Penne Pasta and chicken, with creamy Alfredo sauce, and chocolate cake for dessert at a swank restaurant in Ikeja, GRA. Hmmm. Looks like this diet thing ain’t working too well oh.
January 8th: I have decided to embark on a 40-day fasting and praying program. I’m asking God to deliver me from these FAT spirits that keep haunting me and sabotaging my diet. Enemies of my dieting progress – but physical and spiritual – must DIE!!! AMEN.