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Everyone has a right to happiness, we all deserve to be happy one way or the other and so thinking about the quote “Happiness mainly comes from our own attitude rather than from external factors” by Dalai Lama I can’t help but wonder about the meaning of the word ‘Happiness’.
When two people in a relationship are asked why they love their partner, the answer “He or She makes me happy” would definitely be one of the most common responses and so the question is this; is it really fair to burden your partner with the responsibility of your happiness? A very close friend of mine once said to me that my happiness depends on me and even though at the time, those words meant nothing, I have come to realize overtime that those words held wisdom.
Two people in a relationship are like two people on a cruise. They are constantly in motion, moving from one phase to another. Like a cruise they have a lot of experiences. Sometimes they begin with sea sickness and at other times they sail for a while before the nausea sets in. There are also times when they lose direction because unlike the regular ships even the captain of a relationship is susceptible to steering the ship in the wrong direction some times. There are the still times and these are the times the ship is brought to a halt either to allow the passage of tides or for re-evaluation of course or worst case scenario, this could mean the end of the cruise.
But then, this sea called life is filled with uncertainties and most times even our compass of reasoning leads us down the wrong path, causing us to change the course of our sail. This uncertainty is the reason why it is only unfair to live a life of unhappiness. Every relationship has the ability to be or not to be and so I do not understand why anyone would want to be unhappy in a relationship. The thought that a certain someone would make you happy is just a mirage of your own fears. Like I said earlier it is like a cruise so why not choose r0.ight? Why not choose happiness regardless of what happens at sea? It wouldn’t hurt to have a freaking jolly cruise while you can.
It is highly unfair to hang your happiness like a garrote around your partner’s neck. It is also unwise to hand the keys over to your partner because that way, you have sold your birthright to him or her just like Esau did and why would you even want to burden someone you love so much with such a huge responsibility? That definitely is something I’m yet to figure out but it certainly isn’t love.
The invention of Ships led to the postulation of various theories, some of which were later proven to be wrong. So Just like Ships, there have been a lot of illusions as regards love and relationships most of which have left partners drowning in waves of their own illusions and misconceptions and so when I was asked to give an opinion on relationships, all I could think of was this; Dependence prevents growth and so why would you want to be stunted because you have given the keys to your growth which is happiness to someone else, giving them the power to decide whether you live or not.